you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
