Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Randomize
