Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
