Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
