Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
