Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
