Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Randomize
