I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
