69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Randomize
