I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
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