arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
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