I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
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