Screwed.edu
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
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