Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
We need a shit load of segways right now
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
my liver is dry heaving
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
