i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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