Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
