come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
