how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
