I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
