I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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