Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
