he thought i was a dude.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
