I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
