so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
