he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
