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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
