It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
you made out with another girl for some wings
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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