She's JV to your varsity
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
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