don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
