I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
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