hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
