He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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