Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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