Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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