Got a toothbrush?
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
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