May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
