You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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