My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
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