I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
