Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
