Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Randomize
