Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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