I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I could fuck to npr.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
