There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
