Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
