She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
