Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
