Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
