Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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