i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
